Macroediting

Macroediting Daisy’s paper was an interesting experience. I found it a little less helpful than microediting, because the whole time I wanted to read for grammar and punctuation. I felt that this process helped critique the overall flow of her profile story, rather than nit-picky details. It was a good way to point out flaws that needed to be fixed that I would not necessarily have seen had we not done this exercise.

Microediting

I found microediting Shelby’s paper to be a helpful exercise. I liked only focusing on one aspect at a time, and it allowed me to make the most helpful critiques. I think it made a difference in my editing skills because it pointed out all of the different elements that needed to be edited. I would use this technique again, although slightly more time consuming, I think it would allow for the most beneficial editing.

Stucture Advice

The story I read was Rae Carruth’s son will be at prison gates when father who wanted him dead goes free. This story was organized in a similar was as “The Things That Carried Him” in that it showed multiple different perspectives of the same event. It begins with Carruth’s son, then to the boys grandmother, the coach, and his wife’s mother. Each of the perspectives uses dialogue as a form of action. Through quotes, the traits of each character in the story become apparent. The article is sectioned off by different quotes, and new characters were introduced with quotes as well. Almost the entire last section of the article is one long quote broken up into different graphs. This story covers a deeply personal event, and through the characterization of the quotes, the readers can see how each person in the story feels.

Outline

Outline

Don Collins sits outside planning the next plot he needed to dig for a casket.
Collins had grown up helping his family run the funeral home with his brothers. He preferred to work outside.
Collins grabbed a shovel and made his first dig into the ground.
He protected the ground around the hole with plywood. He took the pieces of earth to the far corner of the Scottsburg Cemetary
The next day, a vanload of soldiers showed up for the funeral. They stood in formation and took their places.
The hearse took a longer route than the soldiers did to get to the cemetery from the church
At 1 o’clock the heart arrived at the cemetery with a crowd of people waiting for it.
The soldiers lifted the casket from the hearse to the lowering machine. The casket was in a special vault designed specifically for soldiers. The soldiers took their weapons from the pile.
There was a prayer, a bagpipe rendition of “Amazing Grace,” three recorded songs, and then Dawson gave the soldiers their signal.
The seven soldiers fired three volleys each in unison.
Leatherbee described as a genuine bugler
The playing of the bugle, differences between different bugle players
Open or closed eyes when playing the bugle at a funeral
Soldiers folded the flag
Description of the folding of the flag (for 4 graphs)
Flag was inspected
Flag handed to the general officer assigned to attend funerals
General Officer’s interaction with the wife of the fallen soldier
Officer drops to her knees in front of wife to give her the flag
Meaning of the flag
The end of the service
Don Jr. brings dirt back from far side of the cemetery and placed the temporary metal marker on the head of the grave
Gail (soldier’s mom) remembers the soldier’s Baptism as one of the firsts in the church
Gail’s cigarette kit and smoking addiction
The many losses of Gail’s life
Joe’s Family that was still alive and at the funeral
Attendees of the funeral
Why Joey joined the army
The escort from the airport to the funeral home
The long procession at the airport
The biggest procession the policemen had ever seen
The Patriot Guard
The Sergeants in the escort
Gail’s car in the procession
People crying for them on the sidewalks
Joey’s work at the steel forge
Joey’s best friend crying while driving thinking of their friendship
They became friends in high school
How they helped each other
Joey buying ryan’s art
Ryan designed tombstones
The procession down the highway, families saluting
Meant a lot to the family
Explains how life was hard for Joey after high school
He went to live with his sister
Ryan came to visit him there
Joey wanted to come home
Joey came home and got his life together
Joey and Missie had kids and didn’t have enough money
Joined the army in 2005
He joined to be like his brother
Joey was able to provide for his family
The last time Gail saw Joey
Joey was proud of himself
Back to the procession
They opened the casket at the funeral home and decided to show the family
Gail needed proof
Mason gave Joey his ring
Enter Jim Staggers
Staggers came from Indianapolis with the funeral detail. Waited fro the “Honorable transfer”
Stagger read the bible behind the hangar. Used the bible for comfort.
Today as a return
Details of the ritual
The way lifting caskets gives information to guardsmen
Keep their “game faces” despite what they learned from the casket
Sight of children
Staggers thought of his own wife and children
Invited the family to approach the casket
Family interacts with the casket.
Staggers held back tears
Carried the casket to the hearse
Reflect on the ceremony
Two of the people in the van would be sent to Iraq

Part Two

Steve Green answered a call from The Pentagon
Making plans with the Air Force
How deceased soldiers used to be transported
Campaign to change the way the Army handles deaths
Kalitta had already done some work fro the Army
Greene asked if Kalitta could handle all the flights of deceased soldiers in the same way he did Tucker and Manchaca
Randomly assigned crews for the assignemtns
Some routes have been flown many times
First time the men flew into Seymour/
They had 2 stops to make
The smaller the town, the bigger the turnout
Spoke about a funeral where neither parent showed up
Crowds have grown over time
Sergeant Betty checked the paperwork when they landed
Joey’s family had been waiting for hours
Waiting was the hardest part
They transferred the casket off of the plane
Pilots have gotten less emotional
First time Major Cory Larsen was in the Port Mortuary at Dover Air Force Base
Larson worked in the port
Those that work there are protective of each other
Karen Giles has worked there since 2003
Description of the building
She prepared Joey to be returned home
First into the EOD Room
Process of cleaning the body
No personal effects on the body.
The atrium of the building has a counseling and meditation section
David Sparks talked about his conversations with people in the atrium
Arrival of Sergeant Montgomery
Autopsy
Description of the autopsy
Wounds were documented and recorded. Eyes were closed.
Continuation of preparing the body
Preserve Viewability
Put them back together as best as they could
The story of a mortician cleaning a dead mans hair tenderly
Placed the body in a casket
Story of a preparation of a body even though it was to be cremated
Placement of the flag is the last step
Enter Major General Richard P. Formica
General officer must attend every funeral and greet every plan landing with dead soldiers in its hold
Formica’s turn
The entire group that is waiting for the plane to land
Chaplain Sparks tells a story relating it to the bible
K-loader enters the platform
Honor guard marched out
It doesn’t get easier
Honor guard moves one case at a time
Spark’s voice
Speech / prayer by Sparks
Cases are carried off the plane
Sparks believed this is his most important work
Formica gets choked up talking about the day
The cases were taken to the Port Mortuary

Part Three

Enter Sergeant Terry Slaght, Sergeant Montgomery’s friend
Slaught was with Joey’s body in the plane
Slaght arranged the flight after Joey passed away in action
When Slaght realized it was Monty
Listened to the drum of the helicopter as he thought about how he should have been there
Arrival at the Baghdad International Airport
Loaded Sergeant Montgomery onto the truck
Transport from the airport to the base
Review of the mission the night before
Monty needed his Copenhagen to do any mission
The mission was dangerous
Monty’s squad was in the front
Monty was teased for his age
They started on their walk wearing night vision glasses
They felt and saw bunkers
They felt like they were being watched
A blow was made
Thought Ross was the one injured but it wasn’t
They couldn’t find Monty
They found his rifle but not him
They found him and knew he was dead
Night vision made it surreal
They deemed it a KIA
Took turns carrying him
They couldn’t find all of him
Everyone was surprised Ross was ok from the explosion
The platoon was in shock
They carried him for an hour
They collected all of his things from his person and put him in a body bag
Bostick thought about Joey’s family
Bostick didn’t speak to Micah for two months
He was brought to the morgue
They prayed
No one in the platoon could sleep
They last time the platoon saw Joey was the next morning

Ledes

The story that I read is “A Home Invasion, A Torture Session, One Lawyer Nearly Killing Another—The Gruesome November Night in One of Washington’s Wealthiest Suburbs.” This story was about
Andrew Schmuhl breaking into his wife’s ex-boss’ home, interrogating him, and being arresting with nothing on but an adult diaper. The lede is a scene setter lede, reading:

“Sue Duncan was roasting a chicken for dinner when she and her husband heard the doorbell ring. It had been a quiet night. Leo Fisher was sitting on a recliner in the living room, reading. It was 6:15 on November 9, 2014, a cool fall evening in McLean.”

This lede introduces the location and overall tone of the ex-boss’ home that is about to get broken into. It was more of a prayer someone would listen, rather than an exciting statement. The excitement in the story comes after the lede in the following graphs. The lede makes this sort of utopian picture, which makes the reader want to keep reading to see when the chaos is going to occur. It contradicts the headline, which describes a dramatic event.

Interview Postmortem

After reading the two articles, I realized that I could have been more prepared for my audio profile. I knew what general topics I wanted covered, but I did not go in with specific questions ahead of time. Although I think the responses I got from my subject fit into the overall theme, I could have done a better job of thinking in soundbites. I did not know how I was going to cut my sound clips, and I wish that I had stayed quieter in my interview. I spoke in between her words so it sounded more conversational, but I wish that I had stayed quieter and just let her speak until she had nothing less to say. Overall, it ended up working out, but I think a more detailed plan and direction going into the interview would have made for more quality sound clips.

Voices

The essay I read was called The Hamilton Cult, and it discussed the popular historical musical that is taking over social media. The essay questions the idea that the musical celebrates that our current society is “post-racial,” and that the narrative of an immigrant who arrives to America with nothing and works their way up is one that works with millennials. The essay explained that most people, politicians included, love the show and can’t stop raving about it. William Hogeland, a historian who has written about Hamilton, believes that the musical urges the audience to love a man they know nothing about. Hogeland explained that actual history is downplayed in the musical, especially the lack of attention to the Whiskey Rebellion. The essay then goes into detail about how Alexander Hamilton and his views have been applied in politics throughout history. Hamilton’s viewpoint was at the ultimate peak during Bill Clinton’s presidency. After an extensive look into history and different times The American Revolution had been written about throughout history, the essay goes back to Hogeland and how what he knows about Hamilton is not accurately portrayed in the musical.

The main voice in the article is of William Hogeland. Hogeland is a historian who agrees with the public about how theatrically brilliant Hamilton is, but said there are some historical imbalances of what actually happened during The American Revolution.

The other voices in the article comes from an unnamed a teacher and an executive from the Rockefeller Foundation, which sends high school students from low-income families to see the play. A teacher who went with his class is quoted in the essay as well, stating that he believes the play was a great experience for his students. He also deemed the play “a spectacle,” which Hogeland can agree with in some respects.

Audio Profile of Katie Cline

Find my audio profile of Katie HERE

Photo Series

The photo package that I chose was called “What you didn’t see on TV: Behind the scenes of the Democratic debate” from Politico.com. I first found this photo package last semester when I did a project on the presidential election, and it was the first one that came to mind when I read this assignment. I love that the photo package was used to give a “behind the scenes” opportunity for readers. Politico does a great job of posting photo packages that tell stories of an entire event. Throughout the entire photo package, the story of the Democratic Debate was told from start to finish. From starting with a “calm before the storm” photo, then continuing on with the arrival of campaign supporters and candidates, I felt like I saw an accurate series of events in order. It would have been a great addition to include a photo of the candidates “in action” instead of them just waving at the end of the debate. Besides that, the photo package did a great job at telling the complete story of the day.

How I Built This: Instagram

I chose the podcast “How I Built This: Instagram” on NPR. I chose this podcast because NPR is a trusted source of podcasts. Instagram is an app that I use daily, and learning the foundation of its invention interested me. Also, this podcast was only a half an hour and that fit best into my schedule. I liked background music in the introduction and throughout the entire podcast. It went in and out of narration and interviews and alternated in a way that kept me interested but was still easy to follow. The quality was incredibly clear, and the light beat that played under the talking meshed well together. The narration and interviews sounded conversational and not too staged, but the information was still concise and interesting. When the tone of what they were talking about changed, the background music did as well. When the inventors were talking about times they struggled, the music became more ominous and slow. I also enjoyed that there were thoughtful breaks and pauses after powerful statements were made so that I had time to digest and think about them without missing anything important.

Interviews:

Guy Raz: Host of the podcast

Kevin Systrom: Co-inventor of Instagram discussed how the idea came about and the evolution into what it is today.

Mike Krieger: Co-inventor of the app spoke about how Kevin asked him to partner on Instagram with him and how they have grown since the beginning of the journey.