Structure Advice

I read through the piece “Obama after Dark: His Precious Hours Alone” by Michael D. Shear, published in July of this year in the NY Times. The story was a really detailed and intriguing look into the behavioral patterns, practices, and habits of President Obama. This was done in a variety of ways, and used heavy amounts of anecdotes to walk us through the president’s work ethic and dedication from his first term until now. The structure is really smart in starting present day and with a simple quote lede that hooks you from the very beginning, given the context that you’ve already read the title.
“Are you up?”

Throughout the rest of the piece, in a rather winding non linear fashion and demonstrates well the idea of seizing narrative opportunities wherever it can. Through the constant stream of anecdotes and mundane details about a high profile figure, the story really puts us in Obama’s inner circle for a moment in order to illustrate the breadth of this man’s work and character. By using small narratives, even the simple, silly ones like Obama texting his former personal aide whenever Duke loses, his family’s movie nights where they have first run films delivered by Motion Picture Association of America, and even the small inside jokes he has with staff. Shear sharply contrasts those tiny anecdotes with larger, more serious ones, like how late he stayed up the night before delivering a speech in Charleston after the fatal shooting of nine African Americans at a Episcopal bible study. By writing these personal vignettes of such a powerful leader, the writer turns Obama into a character in a story rather than just a subject, a perspective we don’t often use when reading about the president.

Structure advice

The “Man in the Woods” by Ashley Powers appeared in The Sunday Long Read on June 5th, first appearing in The California Sunday Magazine. It is a chilling and sadly memorable account of a mind unraveled, a life gone terribly wrong. There are plenty of victims, including the killer himself. It is also a dramatically told story of the manhunt to find – and ultimately take down – the tormented young man.

It is most certainly a story rather than a report, without question. According to Clark, a story gives the reader an experience, not just provides information. This piece most definitely takes the reader on a journey, with emotional peaks and valleys; it propels the reader toward the end (noted as key in Blaine’s text).

Distinctive parts and subparts are important, according to Clark. This piece contains 14 sections, I believe. They are not identified by headings but are separated by space between sections or by photographs (at least that’s how they appeared online).

The pattern of sections is worth noting because there is some amount of repetition. They are as follows: 1. Scene setter lede, beautifully written, almost poetic; 2. Key “anecdote” that becomes the crux of the story – Aaron, young man in the woods fires at and kills men investigating his drug operation; 3. Lure of the Redwoods and their attraction to various fringe type individuals and groups; 4 Look back at the early life of Aaron; 5. Manhunt begins; 6. Back to Aaron’s story, progressing forward in time; 7. Second week of manhunt; 8. Introduction of sheriff in charge of manhunt, including his back story of having a brother experiencing mental illness with some similarities to Aaron; 8. Look back at Aaron’s earlier life, again progressing forward in time, with his arrest for behavior related to delusions; sister’s recognition of the darkness of her brother’s life; 9. Exposition about laws regarding involuntary commitment to psychiatric facility, learning how the system failed in this case; 10. Third week of manhunt; 11.Look back at Aaron’s life, forward to the point where his father was relieved to hear he was moving into the woods, which he thought would keep him safe; 12. Closing in on Aaron and shooting/killing him; 13. Reflections from each party in Aaron’s life (except his mother, for some reason); 14. Reflection from the Sheriff who hunted him down, carrying out his responsibilities but still seeing the tragedy of Aaron’s life and humanity. To note from this breakdown is that each aspect of the story moves forward, with the sections interspersed.

Two other tools from Clark to note are use of internal cliffhangers and putting coins along the path. Each section ends with a cliffhanger, to be returned to after the next interspersed section. The coins along the path, to me, are beautifully worded ideas that hit hard. For example, the writer states about Aaron that in the woods, “he was a woodman, not a lost boy.” The thought of hiding his brokenness by removing himself from others and merging into the woods is jarring. We know it won’t work. There are a number of others that make the reader stop and ponder what it must have been like for this “lost boy.”

Something else to mention is juxtaposition. A number of the photographs show natural beauty of the setting juxtaposed with the horrific events taking place. The photograph of Aaron as a young man, handsome and well groomed, juxtaposed with description of how he was regarded by others, despite his relative good looks – “that something about him warned – stay away.” And that same photograph juxtaposed with his mug shot just cries out, “What happened??”  Of course, we learn that the real villain of the story is the mental illness which has stolen his mind.

Structure Advice

I chose to read “The Afterlife of a Ballerina,” which discussed prima ballerina Alexandra Ansanelli’s surprising decision to walk away from her career in dance at the relatively young age of 28. As someone who grew up idolizing stories about her in issues of “Young Dancer” at my own ballet studio, I was surprised on an almost punch-in-the-gut level to learn that she has retired.

I was, however, relatively disappointed in the article, which, to borrow from Tool 25 of Clark’s Writing Tools, I found to be more of a report than a story. It follows a narrative structure in that anecdotes are arranged in chronological order interspersed with the author’s own thoughts or research, but it reads like a report. Clark says that you “use [a report] to render information, and [a story] to render experience.” I found this piece to render more information than experience, detailing Ansanelli’s rise far more than what surely must have been an emotionally fraught decision to walk away from her career. I was missing the why, and the how. Perhaps I am projecting too much of my own experiences onto Ansanelli, but when one has trained for years in a very demanding art, walking away is incredibly hard. The author details why this is hard for a dancer in the general sense (most dancers have no other formal skills or training to fall back on), but I would have appreciated learning more about Ansanelli’s particular experiences. I think the basic narrative structure the author chose for this piece could convey such information perfectly well, but just as we have been finding in our food exercises, what truly makes a story is all the personal detail that brings a scene alive.

Outline

Part One: Indiana, The End

  • Lede, describes Don Collins
  • Insight into mind of Collins, his knowledge and childhood with Father as a mortician
  • Detail and setting mood
  • showing process of grave digging and Collins thought process
  • Next day, naming and describing funeral attending military members
  • Journey of funeral motorcade to graveyard
  • Describing those awaiting as hearse drives into cemetery
  • Describing casket
  • Describing service and sounds
  • Soldiers fire in perfect unison
  • Leatherbee the bugler
  • Describing training of army bugler
  • Quote from Leatherbee about playing with eyes open vs eyes closed
  • Lowering of casket, quote from sergeant on family
  • Huber quote about soldier’s kids
  • soldiers fold flag, Huber quote
  • Soldier places shells in folded flag
  • Dawson passes flag to older woman
  • General officer Pinckney
  • Pinckney talking about comforting wife
  • Pinckney approaches Missie with flag
  • Pinckney quote on empathy
  • Details about flag
  • Quote what Pinckney says to widow
  • end of service, lowering of casket
  • burying the caske
  • Gail Bonds recalls her baby boy and dries her eyes
  • Bonds and details of cigarettes
  • Bonds’s experiences with deaths of those close to her
  • Bonds’s attending family members
  • Describing those in the church
  • What attendees learned about Joe from eulogies
  • Procession of body
  • Barclay brothers and experience with processions
  • Barclay quote
  • Purpose of Patriot Guard
  • Sergeant Dunaway description and quote
  • Gail and Bill driving, Bill quote
  • Vicki quote
  • Joey’s life as mechanic
  • Joey’s best friend Ryan, Ryan quote
  • Ryan quote about high school
  • Joey and Ryan friendship details
  • Ryan quote about paintings
  • Ryan designs Joey’s tombstone
  • Procession down the highway with families saluting
  • Emotions of the family
  • Describing difficulties for Joey after high school
  • Desrcibing Joey living with sister
  • Ryan visiting Joey
  • Joey wanting to come home
  • Joey came home, piecing together his life
  • Joey and Missie have children
  • Joey joins army
  • Desrcibing connection to brother, also in army
  • Joey providing for his family
  • Mom’s last time seeing Joey
  • Joey being proud of self and steps
  • Details back to funeral procession
  • Opening of the casket at the funeral home
  • Gail quote
  • Mason gave Joey his ring
  • Jim Staggers, army chaplain
  • Staggers from Indianapolis with the funeral detail, honorable transfer
  • Stagger reads the bible for comfort
  • Back to present day
  • Details of the ritual
  • Describing lifting of caskets/ guardsmen
  • Describing faces
  • Details of children
  • Staggers thinking of his own wife and children
  • Details of family to approaching the casket
  • Describing family experiencing the casket.
  • Staggers holds back tears
  • Casket carried back to the hearse
  • Emotional reflection on the ceremony
  • Two of army men in the van would be sent to Iraq

Part Two: Dover Air Force Base

  • Steve Greene answers call from Pentagon
  • Greene, describing work with planes
  • Process of bodies coming back to States, Holley case
  • More details and results of Holley incident
  • Greene quote
  • Pentagon asks for same carrier service for all soldiers bodies
  • Kalitta’s ranks, hauling bodies
  • Jones, pilot, quote
  • Description of locations they fly to
  • Personnel in plane
  • Linton quote about turn out
  • Jones quote in agreement
  • Describing  funeral where neither parent showed up, Quote
  • Crowds have gotten bigger
  • Sergeant Betty checks paperwork
  • Describing Joey’s family waiting
  • Waiting was the hardest part
  • Gail Quote about waiting
  • Pilots emotional response to delivering body
  • Describing Greene and pilots
  • Major Larson worked in the port
  • Descriptions of how staff at port are
  • Karen Giles quote
  • Karen Giles context
  • Describing the building
  • Inscription from port about soldiers lost
  • Joey’s body and treatment
  • Describing process of cleaning the body
  • No personal effects on body
  • Building has both a counseling and meditation section
  • David Sparks quote
  • Arrival of Sergeant Montgomery/Joey
  • Autopsy of body, medical examiners
  • Description of the autopsy, Joey missing some body parts
  • Wounds were documented, eyes closed
  • Describing the preparation of the body
  • “Viewability”
  • Put Joey’s bodie back together as they best could
  • Anecdote of mortician cleaning one dead man’s hair, emotional context
  • Spark’s quote
  • Body dressed and placed in casket
  • Anecdote, careful preparation of a body
  • Placing of the flag is the last step
  • Major General Formica
  • Army Chief of Staff made mandatory that a general officer must attend every funeral and greet every plane landing with dead soldiers
  • Formica greets Joey’s plane
  • Group of officers waiting for the plane to land
  • Sparks quote about religion
  • K-loader lands on platform, engines shut off
  • Honor guard marches out
  • Sparks quote, emotional response doesn’t get easier
  • Honor guard moves one case at a time
  • Sparks speech and prayer
  • Cases are carried off the plane
  • Sparks quote about importance of this work
  • Formica quote
  • Cases taken to the Port mortuary

Part Three: Forward Operating Base Falcon

  • Sergeant Slaght, Joey’s friend
  • Slaght reflects on the KIA
  • How Slaght realized it was Monty, radio code
  • Slaght and guilt of friend’s death
  • Arriving at makeshift morgue at the Baghdad International Airport
  • Loaded Monty onto the truck
  • Identifying Monty’s body
  • Slaght has been awake for forty hours
  • Brother Micah one of first to learn of Joey’s death
  • Micah calls Aunt, conversation
  • Mom’s send kids out to play, await news
  • Gail and Vicki quotes, emotional reaction to son’s death
  • Missie and Ryan conversation
  • Britany quote
  • Description of reactions and gifts to death
  • Description of dangerous mission that killed Monty
  • Squad in truck
  • Monty had talked to wife and kids earlier
  • Monty and wife conversation, lettting her know he was okay
  • Driving in Iraq
  • Troop spread thin
  • Humvees pull into base
  • Monty was teased for his age
  • Captain Goodwin check the night’s mission
  • Monty’s Copanhagen
  • Farmer potentially hiding weapons
  • Quote, Monty believed in God
  • Troop begins mission, tease Monty
  • Description of walk, wearing night vision glasses
  • Bunkers are everywhere
  • Monty told to take his time
  • Explosion
  • Thought Ross was injured
  • Troop can’t find Monty
  • Found his rifle but not him
  • Gilliland finds body, missing from waist down
  • “knew he was dead”
  • Radioed in as KIA
  • Took turns carrying him on the litter
  • Couldn’t find all of him/his ring
  • Ross quote, didn’t get single scratch
  • Platoon in shock
  • Carried him for an hour
  • Medic collected all of his things on his person
  • Bostick quote, thinking about Joey’s family
  • Bostick doesnt’t speak to Micah for two months
  • Body brought to the base’s morgue
  • Chaplain leads a prayer
  • Not much sleep gotten that night
  • Last time the platoon saw Joey was the next morning

Stucture Advice

The story I read was  Rae Carruth’s son will be at prison gates when father who wanted him dead goes free. This story was organized in a similar was as “The Things That Carried Him” in that it showed multiple different perspectives of the same event. It begins with Carruth’s son, then to the boys grandmother, the coach, and his wife’s mother. Each of the perspectives uses dialogue as a form of action. Through quotes, the traits of each character in the story become apparent. The article is sectioned off by different quotes, and new characters were introduced with quotes as well. Almost the entire last section of the article is one long quote broken up into different graphs. This story covers a deeply personal event, and through the characterization of the quotes, the readers can see how each person in the story feels.

Obama After Dark

I chose the piece, Obama After Dark: The Precious Hours Alone from the Don Van Natta list. The piece, published in the New York Times gave insight into President Obama’s day-to-day life. It detailed how he spent his nights working, having dinner with his family or watching sports. The writer interviewed several sources about the president’s various habits and the relationships he had with his aids. Something I noticed about this piece is that it does not have the “suitcase lede” that Clark talks about. It’s clear, straightforward, and not bogged down by too many details.

This is how the article starts:

“Are you up?”

The emails arrive late, often after 1 a.m., tapped out on a secure BlackBerry from an email address known only to a few. The weary recipients know that once again, the boss has not yet gone to bed.

It’s oddly specific without giving away the subject (President Obama) or the location (The White House). It leaves enough mystery for the reader to want to continue.

Similarly, the nutgraph is straightforward, clear and easy to understand

Mr. Obama calls himself a “night guy,” and as president, he has come to consider the long, solitary hours after dark as essential as his time in the Oval Office.

Outline

Part One: Indiana, The End

  1. Lede, scene setting
  2. Establishes that the family is involved with the death process (coroners) and that Don Jr. would rather not continue this legacy
  3. He digs in the ground
  4. Digs, sets up the plywood and takes dirt to far side of the cemetery — hints that funeral might be special as he behaves differently than normal
  5. Soldiers come to the funeral, it is clear he knows them, they set up, also gives time stamp (May 2007)
  6. Talks about the route taken by the hearse
  7. Hearse arrives; discusses the procession
  8. Soldiers take out casket; it is made for soldiers who died in Iraq and depicts scenes from the war. Also talks about people filing in.
  9. More about the funeral ritual — “Amazing Grace” plays, a song by Nine Inch Nails (the dead clearly liked the band), and soldiers are signaled
  10. Soldiers fire honorary shots
  11. Leatherbee prepares to play
  12. Leatherbee plays, discusses bugle playing
  13. Leatherbee quote
  14. Soldiers return to fold flag; quote about how difficult that is, particularly for young families
  15. Dawson (soldier) talks about how he knew the family would remember the flag folding later
  16. Puts shells inside flag
  17. Presents flag to family
  18. Brigadier General used to explain process of getting military officials to attend military funerals & discussion about her always remembering the faces of funeral attendees
  19. Talks about comforting the wife of the dead soldier, Missie
  20. Presents, on knees, the flag to Missie
  21. Talks about how they try to relate to the families of dead soldiers
  22. The myth of folding the flag
  23. Quote said during flag presentation
  24. Mourners leave funeral
  25. Placing of the temporary headstone
  26. Name of soldier → Sgt. Joe Montgomery
  27. Gail Bond remembers Joe’s life (Gail is his mother)
  28. Gail’s reliance on smoking is described — she uses this for stress and negative events keep her from quitting
  29. Description of those events
  30. Talks about strangers attending the funeral because he was the first soldier from that town to die in Iraq
  31. Talks about how the people at the funeral couldn’t have known details about him — growing up in poverty, wanting more for his kids, being ashamed of his jobs, etc.
  32. Escort from airport to the funeral home
  33. More about the process of getting him to the funeral home
  34. Gail worries about the funeral being picketed
  35. Dunaway, a paratrooper, says he thinks it is an honor to escort the casket
  36. Talks about driving by and seeing people react
  37. Joey previously worked at a steel forge
  38. Joey’s best friend was Ryan Heacock — he was to be his best man at his wedding
  39. How Joey & Ryan became friends in high school
  40. Ryan set Joey up with Missie
  41. Ryan used to sell Joey his paintings and Missie has a collection
  42. Ryan designed Joey’s tombstone
  43. Interstate, mourners.
  44. Quote about family being honored and it meaning a lot to them
  45. Joey was homeless for a year when his parents kicked him out
  46. He went to Florida to live with his sister
  47. Ryan brings Joey home and Gail says he must work on his problems if he’s going to move back in
  48. He agrees and comes home. He dates Missie again
  49. He fails to make ends meet and joins the Army as an alternative way to care for his family
  50. Things smoothed out in their lives
  51. Gail reflects on the last time she saw Joey alive at Christmas in 2006
  52. Joey comes home again, but in his casket
  53. Opening the casket
  54. Viewing the body
  55. Micah gives Joey his Mason’s ring and the hand curls in on itself; Gail cries
  56. Jim Staggers is introduced
  57. Describes “honorable transfer”
  58. Talks about how Staggers came to this profession
  59. Staggers reflects on what it would be like if he had been the one to die
  60. Talks about how pallbearers can tell certain things about the bodies of the people in caskets based on weight
  61. Joey’s casket is too light but they don’t react to this outwardly
  62. Finding ways to keep their “game faces”
  63. Pallbearers withdraw
  64. Reading from Psalms  46
  65. Missie sobs
  66. Gail comforts children
  67. Staggers cries
  68. Honor guard carries casket to the back of the hearse
  69. The state troopers talk about how to do ‘better next time’
  70. Two people in the van will go to Iraq also

Part 2: Dover Air Force Base

  1. Steve Greene gets a call from the Pentagon and makes plans with the Air Force
  2. Description of how deceased soldiers were transported
  3. They Holleys campaign to change how the Army handles deaths
  4. Kalitta had already been stationed
  5. Greene asks Kalitta if could handle all the flights of deceased soldiers the same as Tucker and Manchaca
  6. Crew is randomly assigned out of Kalitta’s ranks
  7. Jones and Linton have flown the same route many times
  8. Reveals that Jones and Linton helped fly Joey home to Seymour
  9. They talk about how more people tend to show up in smaller towns
  10. Discussion about parents not attending funerals
  11. 85 hours of flying in a two-week stretch
  12. Checking of paperwork
  13. Pushing the casket off of the ball mat and onto the lift
  14. Steve Green says he’ll always remember Seymour
  15. Major Cory Larsen introduced
  16. Larsen worked at the Port Mortuary at the Dover Air Force Base
  17. He is protective of co-workers
  18. Karen Giles worked in the mortuary as well
  19. Description of the building
  20. Karen is the person who prepared Joey to return to Seymour
  21. Process of cleaning the body
  22. Talk about other areas of the building, including a counseling and meditation section
  23. David Sparks talks about people in the atrium; he has been there since just after 9/11
  24. Arrival of Joey
  25. Description of how to perform an autopsy
  26. Specifics of Joey’s autopsy
  27. Wounds are recorded.
  28. The body is further prepared
  29. Talks about ‘viewability’ as a way of giving to the family
  30. Morticians talk about putting soldiers back together
  31. Description of cleaning a dead man’s hair
  32. Placing the body in the casket
  33. Cremation preparation
  34. Placement of the flag is the last step of the process
  35. Introduction of Major General Richard P. Formica
  36. Description of Formica’s duties in the death/burial process of soldiers
  37. Formica was there when Joey came in
  38. Chaplin Sparks tells a story about the Bible
  39. K-Loader enters the platform
  40. Honor guard marches
  41. Honor guard handles one case at a time
  42. Sparks gives a speech and says a prayer.
  43. Sparks believes this is the most important work he can do
  44. Formica gets emotional
  45. Port Mortuary takes the cases

Part 3: Forward Operating Base Falcon

  1. Sgt. Terry Slaght was Joey’s friend and arranged his angel flight
  2. Talk about how Slaght realized it was his friend
  3. Regrets of Slaght
  4. Arrival at the Baghdad airport
  5. Getting Joey in the truck
  6. Transporting Joey’s body to the base
  7. Description of how Gail found out about Joey’s death, how Missie found out, etc.
  8. Review of what happened on the mission that Joey was on when he died; talks about music, emailing Missie, etc.
  9. Description of “house duty”
  10. Joey’s squad went first
  11. Joey is teased, but respected by the men who follow him into battle
  12. Joey is blown up in an explosion, eyewitness comments and quotes
  13. They can’t find Joey, then find his rifle
  14. Later they find his body and know immediately he was dead
  15. The team carries him out, though they couldn’t find all of his body
  16. Platoon talks about their shock and how surprised they were that Ross was okay
  17. Talk about taking care of his body and making sure to get all of his stuff to send back
  18. The platoon mourns
  19. Seeing Joey for the last time as platoon members on May 23.

Outline – The Things That Carried Him

This feature by Chris Jones is an amazing piece of investigative journalism. Using a structure of reverse chronological order, it focuses on people, places, and details in the story of Sergeant Joseph Montgomery, killed in Iraq. His final days and death are not portrayed until the end of the piece. Leading up to it is a disheartening but beautifully written inside look at people involved at each step of his journey, beginning with the funeral director’s son who digs the grave and looks on at the graveside service. The list of characters and their relation to the story, minor or major, is too long to detail in this brief write up. But it is fair to say that little to nothing is left out; few to none are left out.

Note: Breakdown by paragraphs can be found within each section.

Part One – Indiana, The End

  1. Graveside service introduces reader to the story and some of the characters (paragraphs 1 – 26) a.Initially told through the eyes of Don Collins, funeral director’s son, who digs the grave and looks on at the services (1-5); b. Description of the honor guard’s versus the funeral motorcade’s route (6); c. Careful set up of the honor guard to follow protocol and graveside protocol (7-17); d. Passing of the flag to Brigadier General Belinda Pinckney, who presents to the widow, her words, her reflections (18-24, includes exposition about meaning/history of flag presentation); e. Exiting from graveside services and continuing reflections of soldiers, Brigadier General; final burial by Don Collins and his father (25-26). Note: The transitions that introduce new individuals to the readers are masterful. For instance, he uses the thoughts of one to transition to the introduction of the next.
  1. Church services are depicted through the eyes of Sergeant Montgomery’s mother, Gail, beginning with her recollections of having baptized Joseph in that same church. It is heartbreaking (paragraphs 27 – 31); a. Recollection of her child as an infant, recalling his baptism (27); b. Gail’s struggles over the years. We understand some of what she has endured as well as her own resilience and strength, betrayed by her reliance on cigarettes as part of her coping (28 – 30); c. Description of what strangers could know from looking on. What a great technique for adding details not immediately related from the stories of the closest mourners! (31)  Note: The reader is learning of the subject’s life through the eyes of multiple people, giving a view not knowable to those who met Montgomery later in his life.
  1. The arrival at local airport and procession to hometown, accompanied by state troopers, funeral director, family, best friend. It is a mix of ritualistic practices and individual grief (paragraphs 32-54; a. Recollections of state troopers as the largest response they’ve seen (32-34); b. Mission and origins of the Patriot Guard, formed in response to threat of protestors; words of mother who is appreciative of that (35); c. Collins, Sr. and army sergeant in car behind, followed by family members, and friend, Ryan (36-37); d. Details of Montgomery’s earlier life, friendship with Ryan, days of alienation from his family, including an episode of homelessness, reconciliation with family and girlfriend, young adult life as husband and father, including his struggles that led to army enlistment. (38-54)
  1. Family viewing of the remains (paragraph 55 – 58); a. Funeral director and army sergeant determine that his remains look acceptable enough for the family to view (always up to discretion of those in attendance and the family themselves) (55-57); b. Indications that his body is not complete by older brother who attempts to put his ring on the gloved finger (there is nothing there) (58)Note: This grisly detail of the missing finger foreshadows later recognition of the details of his death and of incomplete remains.
  1. Description of carrying of casket from plane to awaiting transport, mostly through the eyes of Jim Staggers, link in the chain of” honorable transfer” (paragraph 59 – 75); a. The emotionality to Staggers and the full attention he gives to each body he accompanies (59-63); b. What can be deduced from the weight of the casket and the notation that Montgomery’s is lighter than might be expected (64- 65,also foreshadowing); c. Guardsman focus on detail to keep “game face”; Staggers cannot deny his humanity and breaks down in tears after reading words of honor (66-72); d. Carrying the casket to the hearse (73-74); e. Mention that two soldiers in convoy will themselves be called to Iraq 2 months later (75). Note: further use of foreshadowing and coming to terms with realities of the circumstances of his death

Part Two – Dover Air Force Base

  1. How honored transport of bodies began and how it’s carried out through the eyes of Steve Greene who own the planes enlisted for this duty (76-88); a. In Greene’s description of how he became involved and performs his services, he makes his observations of the variety of responses on a community basis known (76-88); b. Memories run into each other, Greene states, an acknowledgement of having seen so many (88). Note: This section brings into awareness a broad cast of characters, including civilians who are contracted for services in the chain of transport.
  1. Through the eyes of army Major who saw Montgomery’s arrival at Dover AFB in an aluminum transfer case from oversees, description of the protocol upon arrival including check for explosives within the case, autopsy and preparation/embalming of body (89-110); a. Rather than breaking this down detail by detail, the main points to be acknowledged are that attention is paid to every detail. It is extremely painstakingly done so as not to miss anything. Mention is made of being sure to not put the wrong ring on a body, for instance. This reiterates the earlier detail of his older brother noticing that his ring was missing. Those preparing the body did not have a ring for Montgomery, foreshadowing the later reveal of missing body parts (89-108); b. Recollection of polishing brass of a soldier to be cremated – reinforcing the honor given to war dead, even if it is known only to those preparing the body (109); c. Flag added to casket (110). Note: This section emphasizes excruciating detail given to preparations to honor the fallen soldiers.
  1. Recollections of those removing bodies from aircraft at Dover for funeral preparations (111-128); a. The formalities are clear in the words and the mechanics of transfer. Bodies are being brought into the morgue for identification and preparation, as described in the preceding section. There is protocol and sobriety at each step. Note: Jones does not miss any opportunity to convey deeply felt emotions and honor conveyed by traditions.

Part Three – Forward Operating Base Falcon

  1. Recognition by Montgomery’s friend, Staff Sergeant Terry Slaght, of the death (129-136)-This section highlights the reaction, disbelief, of a close army friend to the realization that it was Montgomery’s body in the truck to be carried for air transport. He examines his friend’s body for identifying features, as he has been taught to do. Note:  The story is building to the disclosure of details of his death. In portraying Slaght’s dismay and grief, the widespread impact of this one person’s life is apparent.
  1. Brother’s last contacts, visit to Bagdad (which is amazing in itself); chain of contacts regarding notification of death (137-162); a. Micah visit Joseph in Bagdad (137-145); b. Family members being notified of death, with Micah as central figure, attempting to protect family members from trauma; c. Culminating with notification to mother and wife (149-161); d. Knock at the door of Missie, Sergeant Montgomery’s wife, at 4 a.m. This drops like a hammer. (162). Note: The readers know it’s coming, yet the impact is still great. We are carried along to the moments at which family members are faced with the notification.
  1. Wife’s last contact, which turns out to be the night of his death; comrades’ discovery of his body without the lower half missing; carrying of his body by fellow soldiers to army morgue (163-224). Note: Readers are led to these moments in which Montgomery, as a living being, talks with his wife and is on duty with his fellow soldiers.
  1. The last time the platoon saw Sergeant Montgomery as the air transport, carrying his body back to the U.S., took flight and disappeared into the sky (225). Note: It is interesting that the piece ends with fellow soldiers watching the air transport carrying him back to the states, rather than with his final moments of life. It emphasizes that this piece is really about his place in the lives of others.